The Drama Triangle

The triangle

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"Hurricane" Supply Plan

I am not preparing for the apocalypse.  I don’t have an emergency bunker.   I don’t even have a basement, because I live in Florida.  But I do have an emergency supply.   How about you?   Do you have an emergency supply?  

I remember just a few years ago, when we got hit here in Florida by three hurricanes in one summer.  It was a nightmare.  We lost power for a combined total of three weeks.  It was so hot!  The most inconvenient thing was probably the lack of air conditioning, but something else stands out in my mind.  We had to wait in line for gas.  Now don’t get me wrong.  We only had to wait for about fifteen minutes, but there was such a fear that there would be no gas, that everyone was lined up for it.  This made the price go through the roof.  Granted, it was half what it cost today when it “skyrocketed.”  But still, at the time it made an impact on my thinking. 

What if you could not get food for a week?  This still seems like a pretty crazy idea to me…but gas is $4.00 a gallon, and I freaked when it was $2.15, because of the hurricanes.  Our gas comes in to port from Tampa.  I live in Orlando.  What happens if gas tankers get delayed by a week or two?  Your grocery store may rely on shipments each week.  Your gas station definitely relies on shipments each week.  If you live paycheck to paycheck, this may throw off your routine for the week.  Do you go out to restaurants instead of cooking your meals each night?  We used to do this.  It was regular for our family to go out to eat at least once or twice per week.  Now we make our lunch, instead of indulging in quick serve lunches out.  We are trying to get our family out of debt, so we gave up going out for lunch or going out to restaurants, unless it’s really a need.  Maybe we go out now once or twice a month.  But because of our habits of going out to eat, we relied less on the grocery store.  If we needed something we would go get it the night before or the day we needed it.  What if you couldn’t get what you needed for a month?  What would have to happen for this to be a reality?  It’s way more likely than you may be prepared to believe, until after it happens.  But we are able to make a small adjustment in our home to be prepared for things like the occasional hurricane or panic stricken raid on the grocery store.  We have a “Hurricane Supply.” 

    

Why We Have The Ten Rules

So for the last week I’ve been trying to narrow my focus for the “Ten Rules For Your Home” material.  I received a few questions from people asking how to get started in coming up with rules.  The main concerns were, “How do you keep the leadership role of the father in the home when the teenager is coming up with the rules?” Another question was, “Why do you do time out when it does not seem like it is working?”

            These are great questions.  When I enter the picture as a counselor, things have usually gotten to the point where the family needs immediate help.  They can’t wait three months to see improved behaviors in their child.  Usually the school is giving ultimatums to the family about their child’s behavior too.  A comforting word from an overly optimistic counselor will not get the school to stop sending home letters about their kid’s bad behavior.  There needs to be some sort of plan to get everyone in the child’s life on the same page.  This is why I needed something adaptable to the most difficult family situations.  Families with less intense issues can always scale back the plan if it is too much.

            Working with teenagers can be very frustrating at times.  Having the ability to manipulate concepts is a new skill for them.  They are sometimes overwhelmed by the new information that they are now capable of understanding, but they do not have all the right places in their mind to store the information from new processing abilities.

I wanted to start off with a slide show that I used for a speaking engagement at my church.  I hope that it is helpful for you.  In my counseling sessions, I begin with challenging the family to develop a list of rules similar to the Ten Commandments in the Bible.  I came up with the idea after working in a group home for foster children.  We had a very complicated structure, and I wanted to help families develop boundaries and structure with a Biblical template.

Empowered parents

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The Christian Family Help Blog

This is going to be a blog focused on bringing relevant help to families.  It will be written from a perspective that incorporates principles from the Bible.  We hope that your family will find answers to your questions here.  We will address many different topics ranging from behavior issues, communication improvement and money management.  We also hope to talk about our experiences with family relevant items that you may need help with.  For instance, one of the most important aspects of family life is the memories we make with our children.  I spent ten years as a professional photographer, and sold cameras for three years. You may want to learn more about what kinds of camera investments make more sense than others.  I used to have this type of conversation twenty times a day when I sold cameras.  I was a teaching type of salesman by nature.  I loved to talk about what type of camera makes the most sense for a given situation.  I would like to review photography techniques and wise purchases for photography.  I am a mental health counselor now.  My wife Lauren is a speech therapist.  We have a desire to bring you ideas to try at home in order to improve your life at home.  We use just a few techniques in our own home that dramatically reduce the challenges that arise concerning discipline, communication and money.  We hope to be able to walk along side you (virtually anyways) as you minister to your family.